Hey everybody! Since there's a lot of ground to cover (I've been an awful blogger :P) I'm just going to put it all out there. Sorry if it comes out a little blunt.



First thing, my father called. Perfect timing, right? No. For those of you reading who don't know, about two or three months ago I began looking for my father. He has a long criminal record (all theft or fraud) and therefore wasn't incredibly difficult to find. My mother soon came in contact with his parole officer who promised to pass along my message of interest in meeting him and our number. That was quite a while ago. Everything is different and therefore EVERYTHING about this is inconvenient. Eek. Through corresponding with his wife (oh yeah, he has a family) I found out they have two boys named Tristan Cole and Billy Drake, who are six and five. OK. This is way too much to process. Maybe I'll say more on that later. So, maybe sometime soon I'll buck up the courage to go meet him. I can't say I'm entirely sure I want to before I go to Africa but I think it's probably wise so please keep this in your prayers.







Now, for the good stuff! Mom has settled in well here at home, especially since we had a hospital bed, mini fridge, and multiple rails installed for safety. On a regular basis she had a nurse and physical therapist visit for check-ups and rehabilitating exercises but they are all done and she is doing much better. All of these things have been crucial to her recovery. Being the spunky person that she is, it was hard to get used to the fact that even a small amount of activity could exhaust her. So, trips to Wal-Mart and such for prescriptions take their toll. She has made the most of this opportunity to improve on her head dress collection and now has a large variety of scarves, headbands, hair flowers and such. I can't say I'm at all put put out about these things covering one wall of our bathroom either!!! She knows how to share...


Almost six weeks ago mom started radiation therapy. This can definitely make those who are treated tired, cranky, and sometimes leave a sunburn-like feeling. She has had treatment every day Monday-Friday in Jackson for six weeks and experienced all of these symptoms. It is entirely due to our amazing friends and family that she can make it to Jackson so often. Thank you! The hardest part of the treatment was hair-loss. I've always envied my mom's hair (red hair has way too many superstitions linked to it, like "all redheads are heartless" WWHHAATTT!!!) so embracing the bob, then the crop cut look was a little difficult. especially since I knew how much she didn't want it to go. Almost the entire top half of her hair had fallen out when she got the second haircut. I know it's just hair, but then again, it's not. My mom cracks jokes all the time about her hair or 'the stars in my head' and sometimes I just wish I could be laughing because I think it's funny. But I'm not. I laugh because if I don't I'll cry.



In the beginning it seemed like the worse my mother got, the worse I became inside. I felt shallow and empty all the time. It wasn't helpful to have people tell me "God has a plan". Inside I was screaming back, "AND I DON'T CARE!!!" I can understand if you think that made me a very selfish and narrow-minded person, because that's exactly what I was at the moment, but what could make someone think I wanted to be part of God's agenda? More than anything in the world I needed someone to tell me, "He's going to get you through this. He loves you both and He will always be by your side"



Somehow, long ago when I thought my life was already hard and was constantly turning to God for what I now see as petty struggles, I was convinced that my faith could get me through anything. That I would always know God was there for me. Life got harder and I didn't. I grew calloused and angry and I didn't see it that way at all. Having someone tell me that He was with me even though I was rejecting any connection with Him was far more helpful a thought than any confirmation that I was part of 'the big picture'. I needed Him to be personal and help me through the rough day-to-day stuff that we would have coming for a long time. Guess what people? HE DID! He did, and He always will. It took far too long for me to realize this, and the results weren't immediate (what is :P) but in the end it was true.

Back to Mom. A few weeks ago we went to the opera! I would especially like to thank Becky, without whom we wouldn't have gone. Just before her surgery my mother found out that Locks of Love had a special offer of trading opera tickets for hair. Since we had missed our opportunity to go to the opera while in Kansas City she thought this was a perfect opportunity. So, she cut her hair. Afterwards we were having a difficult time getting the ponytail to Memphis. Becky apparently heard about our dilemma, cut her hair, and sent us the tickets. On receiving the tickets with Becky's little note Mom promptly teared up. Becky had truly acted out of love and we'll never forget it. The sacrifice didn't stop there! We then had to figure out how we would get to Memphis and back and the last thing she wanted was to let me drive to Memphis and back late at night. Jim and Nora just happened to be going on the same night as us but also had plans to go van shopping earlier in the day. Only minutes after I explained our situation I received a message from them stating they had cancelled the van plans and fully intended to take us out to dinner before the show! Again, amazing love.

I don't even know how to begin thanking the village for everything they've done for us. My mom has said before how grateful she is for God's grace in this situation. Her cancer could have surfaced years ago but that wouldn't have been the time or place she needed. She believes it showed up when it did because God made sure we would be taken care of, and that's exactly what happened. I know He hasn't done that for everybody, I've seen a lot of sad and lonely people with cancer over the past couple months, but I thank God He did it for us. I have so much to be grateful for.

I apologize for not blogging sooner and more frequently! I'll try much harder to blog more. The next big adventure in my life... AFRICA!

To be continued...